she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
