Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
