So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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