I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
