Say something about gay babies.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
