Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
