I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I bet he comes in French.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
