So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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