well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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