So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize