dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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