So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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