why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize