it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
