fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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