so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
