just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
