The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
