So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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