Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
