well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
