i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
