so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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