I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
