My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am in a vortex of obligation.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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