hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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