Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
