i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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