Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
