Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
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