From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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