Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
