You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
