out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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