Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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