Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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