Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it