we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize