this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
