Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
