This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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