he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize