my phone needs a breathalizer
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
