my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
