Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
