I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
