But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You need Xanax blowdarts
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
