i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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