So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
