she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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