His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
