where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
