I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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