marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
