sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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