She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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