I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
