Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
