She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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