weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
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Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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