i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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