You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
